Any guesses as to what this is?

image136If you said Beyonce, dressed in a dramatically oversized wedding outfit that required four stage hands to fit it from four different angles before she launched into another beautiful ballad at Sydney’s Acer Arena last night then you’d be right!

If you said puffy smegma in a sink, I’d forgive you but you are wrong.

I pretty much had the NIGHT OF MY LIFE last night. I haven’t had this much fun since I single handedly ripped out the rear seats of an abandoned Ford just off the M4 a couple of weeks ago.

To sum:

* Oh my fucking god she was good! I’ve never really been a fan but I can honestly say it was the best gig I’ve ever been to in my life - beating out Bjork, blur, grizzly bear and the Wondermints.

* It made me feel that a life of glitz and glammer, moustachioed, stomach-ripped men in vests that cover pretty much only their shoulders and spandex clad backing dancers is a life I could take part in. I want to play gigs where I walk down mechanically shifting stairs; where I fly over the crowd in a gold lame outfit and land with grace on an extendi-stage; where I sing a cover of Alanis Morisset’s “Oughtta Know” and end a show being lowered into a hole in the stage that is actually meant to be there unlike the hole that’s in the stage at most places we play at.

* Even when we started singing sop christian ballads in the first third I was transfixed. And her all female band was incredible! I even screamed at the slap bass solo!

* And to seal the deal, she brought out a seriously ill young child from the crowd at the end and sang her Halo and pretty much everyone  of the 20 000 strong crowd was crying their eyes out.

Enough said but just had to share that with you. Quote of the night (althought it was only relayed to me) comes from Flo-Rida: “this next track is from my self-titled new album, Roots.” um….

In the style of Alex Moore here are some more creepy photos. And in the words of Beyonce’s oddly communicative video show: “I AM … YOURS”

image1382image1391image1411image1461

p.s. the title of this blog is somewhat taken from an excellent dance work by an excellent Sydney group call Post. Check them out when they next do a show.